The Definition of Vino

The Vino is a mysterious creature of epic proportions. I have had the honour of actually seeing one face to face before. Its a terrifying sight....

As I read up on this creature, I found that the name first originated from the Kula Kala land in ancient Egypt.

Vino was said to be another name for Sugar Mummy. But in the Haya Hiri tribe in Mesopotamia, it refers to the feminine name for Simba, the King of the Jungle.

Will try to capture a picture of this fascinating creature for public viewing soon.

Me and Pak Lah

I know i promised some of my frens to post about our party last friday but i think this takes precedence.

I dunno how many of you remember my joke about me buying a Tunship when they were selling the Datukships a few months back. I will be called Tun Nambiar and I can go and talk to Dr M n Pak Lah and tell them who u think u guys are, I also Tun u know, u must respect me....hehehehe

Well thinking that was just a joke and neva in my lifetime would i ever meet a former PM, guess who I met today....

Lemme show u



Yup. I met him while taking my mum to the chiropractor in Kajang. He was such a down to earth man and so pleseant. And so was his wife, Jeanne Abdullah, think you can see her in the corner. He was talking bout the environment and how many of the rivers and all were slowly disappearing. You can see he is a very caring man and an overall nice guy. Its sad that he was too nice for the PM's job. He would have truly been able to make us a true great nation.

I might be meeting him again and I will be sure to keep everyone informed of it

Wedding of the Unknown Aunty

So last Saturday I had to go for a wedding for an Aunt who I have met only once in my life and she had the cheek to ask me who I was. When i told her I was her nephew I think she had a rude shock. Lol. Age tends to sneak up on people doesnt it.

Anyway went for her wedding after lots of complaining. Expected to meet some bigshots but they didnt turn up. I was speaking to some cousins and uncles that I havent met for a while when suddenly, one of my aunties asked me to take pictures for my grandaunt. I was like why the fuck should i take pics man, my grandaunt has a son who is more than capable of taking pics.

So i did what I do best, took 5 really lousy shots and gave back the camera to my aunty. Yea, I know I am an arsehole but heck some people deserve to be treated that way. Not like they treat me very well.

The food wasnt that great during the wedding but I also learnt something else about my family. My uncle who lives in New York is actually gay. Damn and I tot everybody was just kidding coz they didnt get along wid him. One look at him and you can tell.

The best part was that he couldnt keep his hands off the bridegroom. I dunno bout you but I dont think this marriage is gonna be a very happy one. LOL

Exam blues

Anybody got a suggestion for what I can do for my Master's thesis...Somehow i dont think they will agree on my proposed topic 'Recession and credit crunch effect on prostitution revenues'

How to measure happiness

I found this theory on how to tell how happy a person is.

Its very simple.

Its

X*Y

Where

X= A scale between 1-10 on how high you are (on weed or alcohol) where 10 basically means ur passed out from over consumption of either.

and

Y=The average of sex you have had in the last 30 day

So the higher the result of this equation the happier you are. Try it out and post in the comment section your results. Go ahead. Nobody will judge you.

Melbourne Day 5

Well this is going to be short and sweet i guess. 1st of all this was my last day so I had to get all my shopping done. Went to the city to get it done. Had lunch in Nondo's was nice. Saw how candy was made, went to one huge as shopping centre that seemed to cover many buildings. Cant remember the name strangely....Guess it didnt have that much of an impact on me.

The best story was during dinner. Now a quick show of hands on how many of you have uncles and aunties. Great..... I am guessing all of you right. So assuming this, your on a holiday with your uncles and aunties and they want all this stuff for dinner. This is my uncle, aunty and cousins. Now who in the word would u assume would do or at least offer to do the cooking????

Guess wat...Dinner time came, and my Aunty was missing from the apmt. And my overbearing uncle insisted i had to fucking cook for him n his family. Lucky my cousin helped or I would have chopped his nuts off with the knife i had in my hand. So i cooked the lamb, meatballs and some dodgy pasta meal thing. And suddenly my Aunty appears n pretends to help to cook Maggi, or did my cousin cook that... I cant quite remember.

Finish my packing after dinner and we left for the airport. Returned the car, checked in and went looking for some bottles to bring back. And i found the GREEN FAIRY. Got 2 bottles of absinthe (73% alcohol). Looking forward to enjoying it with certain ppl.

Saw this really pretty indian girl sitting in front of me. She was basically telling her whole life story to a chinese family and i listened intently. Its amazing what a person can learn by just listening. Hehehe....

Took the not so exciting and boring flight back. Got a taxi back wid my Uncle n Aunt. Dropped him and his family off 1st( which I also find strange because usually the Uncles n Aunties would insist the extra person gets dropped off 1st as its polite and all). Then he asked me the most audacious thing you could imagine.

"Arvind, can you go get me a packet of Mamak Mee ah from the mamak shop?"

I was like WTF is wrong with this bugger. He has got so many cars and a son and daughter there to go and get him this what. Why must I do it for him? I just went home, turned off my phone and had a nap. Serves that bugger rite....Hehehe

Mebourne Day 4

Sorry for the delay in posting my 4th day in Melbourne. I think i missplaced my camera. I saw it when i reached home but last nite i couldnt find it again. Its very irritating when this happens.

Anyway the day after the wedding was fairly straightforward. Had breakfast at the cafe in the golf club. The bacon was awesome. Everyone took the train to the city and i have to say, i really liked the city. Its the kinda place I would love to live in. Its very simple, friendly and the people are very polite and professional. Also they are very developed socially. Its one of those countries where the interest of the people comes 1st and foremost.

Anyway as we got off the train station there was a band playing on the streets. It was a band thats trying to get famous via MySpace. Their music was kinda cool. Next we saw a street magician who did some juggling acts. His sarcasm was excellent and quite entertaining actually.

The great Rajah mama only wanted to meet Kuldip Singh. God alones knows why since he can always meet that bloody Punjabi back in Malaysia if he really wanted to. And so he was bitching that whole time since none of us gave two shits about meeting Kuldip. The aquarium was our 1st stop since the 2 small boys wanted to see it. Rajah Mama calmed down after the walk and was quite excited to see the pengiuns which i found pretty cute. The penguins, not the Mama.

All in all, the aquarium wasnt that great, but it did leave me thinking of seafood. Had lunch in Subways while the uncles decided it was time to start drinking in the pub. The rest of us took a ride on the tram and wanted to go check out Victoria Market. Sadly the market was closed by the time we reached so we went on the tram again n learnt quite a bit bout Melbourne. All which i have already forgotten. Hehehe

Went back to the pub to pick the uncles up. The boys got sidetracked(including me). We went for a walk around Melbourne and saw some interesting sights in the city.

By the time we got back to the pub we had to literally carry the drunk uncles back. On the way back i realised that there was a rugby match on that evening and i think its pretty cool the way everybody makes it a family event where they go to the stadium and have a picnic with the entire family.

Went to Maccers for dinner and watched American Idol on tv and then fell asleep in the living room. Day 4 was boring all in all

Melbourne Day 3 - The Wedding

And so arrived the day that was the highlight of the entire trip. Before i go on I should inform you all i was in-charge of the dance music. We woke up and had some sausages at my uncles apartment and decided that we shall go do some last minute shopping at the local mall for the wedding as there were some who needed shoes and ties and you can imagine the rest of the list.

So we went back to the mall wid the uber expensive kebabs and realised it was a fucking big mall in the suburbs. While the rest shopped a couple of us just hanged around checking out the local 'stock' and I wasnt too impressed. There were so many Asians and Indians around and would you believe it the mall even serves Halal food. That was probably the only culture shock i got in Australia.

Checked out the local music store but i wasnt very impressed with their prices and selections. By now i had a very bad hangover so we got lunch and went back to the apartment to get some rest and i had to go down the club to test the music and guess who was also helping out with the music.......

Yup, none other than the most beautiful girl i have ever met. She was due to play the violin. Either she wasnt very good playing the violin or I was tone deaf, but oh god, she looked so fine and classy just standing there with the violin. Or maybe i just wasnt listening to her playing so much. Hard to remember such details.

Somehow that also helped soothe the headache so maybe she can play the violin after all. Back at the apartment i found out that we needed to make one final airport run so i decided to join Pravin as we would be back just in time for the wedding. Needless to say, the worse happened. The flight was delayed and I missed the wedding ceremony.

We got back just in time to get ready for the reception. That gal, lets just call her R from now on as the term that beautiful gal is just too bloody long to type, was wearing a red dress and looked absolutely amazing. I started of the night with some red wine partly because it was red in colour as well. I sat down at my pre assigned table and lo and behold, another fine gal was sitting at the table beside mine. Later i found out that the new gals were Sunny's childhood friends.

Now this gal was wearing a silver coloured dress( i maybe wrong with the dress colour, you will understand why in a few moments), so i shall call her silver from now on. And she got up and oh my god, she had an ass on her that was just heavenly. It was just round and juicy and just gave every single guy in that room a hard on. Sadly she was married but that did not stop her from bending over at every oppurtunity that was presented to her.

I got the best view(at least i would like to think), as Silver was seated right in from of me and R was right behind me. Not too sure what happened during the wedding. All i remember is switching to Champagne after seeing that round and brown ass and staring at it the whole nite. I also chatted up the waitresses who were kinda cute and got the wedding couples 1st dance music on the way and then i think the champagne started to hit me. So i went out for some fresh air and R came out as well with some little cousins of mine and she was looking for her dad's car to get some stuff so we directed her.

Felt better and went in and i had a few more champagnes and i saw Susheel talking to Silver and her sister. Hung out with my family for a bit and then really felt the champagne getting to my head. 15 glasses in 3 hours was probably a bit too much so i figured it was time for me to head to bed before i do anything stupid. I took the music back with me as nobody was dancing anyway.

Went back and knocked off. Later i found out that there was a lot happened after i left including a couple of unwanted and unimaginable incidents. For more details on those incidents, please DO NOT bother asking me unless i am HIGH on absynthe.

Melbourne Day 2

I just realised I have yet to post any pics...will do so later on Facebook for everyone's viewing pleasure.

Anyway, 2nd day we only got up around 10ish. This was mainly due to the fact someone came knocking at the door. We got up got dressed, had breakfast and then started to wonder what should we do for the stag nite. Decided to go and visit Sunny and Sue at their new place. We found it after bumbling around for a few minutes.

The 1st thing i noticed was this absolutely hot chick in their living room. Was probably the most beautiful girl i have ever met before. Sadly she was underaged (maybe she just turned 18 but i didnt particularly wanna ask that in front of her parents, her dad looked exceptionally mean at us young bachelors esp after the wedding)

Decided to take a drive to the beach (in winter). We passed the nude beach but decided not to check it out that day as there were kids around and anyway we didnt expect many nudist on a cold winters day anyway. The weather was kinda foggy anyway so we just took a walk on the beach and oh wow there were just so many seashells. Heck there was probably more seashells that sand on that beach.

We managed to catch nature at its best when we saw some birds diving to catch some fish. We couldnt figure out what kind of birds they were but it was white and big and sure as hell wasnt a pigeon. We were starving after the walk and we went to Werribee shopping centre.

Had the most horrible kebab that cost me 11 Aussie Dollars. We met up Sue and her aunties and the rest of the ladies who was shopping around there and went back to our apartments as Pravin and Sai had to make an airport run. I had the sports car for that evening and decided to make a beer run.

Got some Konigs and some other German beers and we were just chilling around. The great Raja Mama arrived soon and some old wounds were re-opened but that a story for another day. We went to Sunny's place for dinner but there was no dinner, so Sai went on a Pizza run while me and Pravin went to pick up Roy and Family and Hugh.

I was given a warning not let someone's husband drink or I will find myself dead in the morning but i still dunno whose wife warned me as i was too scared to look behind. But both Roy and Hugh drank to glory last nite and i survived so i guess i may have imagined that (Black label does make u imagine things).

Back to Sunny's place and we had some amazing pizza and had an amazing show where everyone was given a dose of hard truth and a show in the form of the Taliban Dance. Was good but a proper stag nite would have been more memoreable. We carried Sue's brother in law back to the aparments and we continued in the bachelor's pad.

Hugh and Roy were reminiscing their glory days and after much alcohol, Hugh tried to pick a fight with Susheel. No actual fight happened and we continued till about 4 with the usual merrymaking.

Melbourne Day 1

I am gonna give a blow by blow account on my recent trip (mainly for selfish reasons as i dont wanna type or tell everyone about the whole trip again and again).

Reached the airport and checked in. I decided to buy a bottle of Jaeger instead of the usual whisky to try something different. Had loads of Victoria Bitter (VB) on the flight, and my cousin attempted to flirt with the flight attendant, who seemed tipsy and was having vodka lime throughout the flight i think. He was shot down obviously and i attempted to make the best out of this situation by trying to ask her what should we check out in Melbourne. She replied ,'Oh, there are some amazing Malaysian restaurants in Melbourne'

I straightaway replied that I wanna see Australia and not Malaysia in Melbourne and i think that ended any chance of her revealing which hotel she stays in also...hehehe....

So we got to Melbourne and would you believe it, at immigration they thought my Passport was fake. I thanked god they didnt do a cavity search on me. It tooked them about 20 mins and lots of checking to decide that my passport wasnt really fake. My uncles had a good laugh. Next was customs and they dont have a green line i think or maybe we were in the green line which is why they didnt check our bags.

Anyway as they asked us some routine questions, the Customs officer just said 'Oh I know you here for Padman's wedding, and do you have your wedding invitations with you?' And we were like, what the fuck is going on????? We just agreed with him on everything as we didnt wanna antagonize him. Scarily he just let us go and when we checked with the bridegroom, he dont have no friend at Customs so we figured he was just your average dodgy Aussie.

Next up, we collected the rental car....Got an MPV and also got upgraded to a Ford Falcon sports cars with a V8 engine. It was fucking awesome. We reached our fucked up hotel in the middle of nowhere at around 9 in the evening, unpacked and went to the nearby Coles supermarket and got lamb and we grilled it for dinner and it was awesome.

Had a black label after that and was pissed drunk and there were some dodgy conversations going on and we all went to bed at around 5 in the morning as none of us remember to change the time on our watches to Melbourne time and were under the impression its only 3 in the morning.

All things aside it was a good arrival and I shall post my 2nd days experience up soon as well.

Torn in the Middle

I think most of my friends would know I am a little torn over my current job. While I like working here....actually no....I love working here....There is the lack of job security that nagging away at me......

A recruiter just called and asked me to meet him for lunch this friday....too bad I will be at Melbourne then.... We rescheduled to next week..... I figured the worse thing that could happen is that I end up with a free lunch rite or not?

Lets see how it goes la...and I will post my Melbourne trip pictures up on Facebook so that my Billions of fans may be appeased albeit for a moment only....hehehe

Weird

Can you believe it.... an old fren adds me on Facebook and the 1st thing she asks if the gal beside me in the pic is my wife.....

i mean...just look at the pic and the name and its so clear its my sister....if this gal wasnt hot i prob wouldnt bother replying anyway....hehehe

Hillarious

This has got to be the best joke i have ever heard in a while....

While driving, suddenly this woman notices, oh wow...thats a lot of police cars....i have never seen so many police cars in my life.....

Would you believe she commented this while we were driving pass a police station........

Hows it going

Its been ages since i updated this blog....almost a year already....much has changed....new job.....less drinking....therefore lesser theories.....

i have been very angry at some ppl lately....i just realised that i have been used by them and i really hate them for it....being the nice guy that i am i cant tell them this so i will do what i do best......hate her guts for the rest of her life and hope that everyone in Mauritius dies from a tsunami.....